Tears and Tantrums

Your Child Will Learn

That you are there to help when they’re upset

When your baby is crying, first reflect on how you are feeling. It is very common to feel stressed or anxious when your baby cries, and your baby will respond to your emotions. Some strategies to help yourself stay calm:
- Count to 10.
- Breathe slowly.
- Close your eyes and ‘remove’ yourself from the situation for a moment.
- Focus on a happy memory with your baby.
Check for immediate needs like hunger, temperature, or dirty diaper.
Acknowledge your baby’s feelings out loud. Talk to your baby about what could be bothering them.
Try some calming strategies:
- Speak in a soft and comforting way. To help bring down the volume of the crying, slowly lower your voice as you talk.
- Pick up your baby and move to a different room or outside. Give your baby a tour of your new location using a soft voice.
- Cuddle or sing to your baby.
- Bounce or rock your baby gently.

PAUSE

ENGAGE

In a calm, gentle voice, ask, “You are crying. What is the matter?”
“I have been so busy with other things today. Maybe you want to spend some time with me. Let’s look at this book together.”

ENCOURAGE

Acknowledge your baby’s feelings by saying, “I hear you crying and I know you are upset. I am here with you. We’ll figure this out together. I love you.”
If nothing seems to work, stop and remind yourself: “This is difficult and it will be okay. I may not be able to stop her crying, but I can be calm and let her know I am here for her.”

REFLECT

When the tears have ended, describe why your baby was upset and what helped them feel calm.

Over time, you and your baby will learn the techniques that help them feel most calm.

Acknowledge older babies’ frustration when they can’t get where they want to go, or can’t complete a task they are working on.

They will begin to feel less upset as an adult helps comfort them

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